--- title: "Therapy During Divorce and Separation in Eugene, Oregon | Ubuntu Counseling" description: "Counseling during divorce or separation in Eugene, Oregon with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC. For the adult going through it and for helping children through it. No court work." lang: en json-ld: | { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "MedicalWebPage", "name": "Therapy During Divorce and Separation", "description": "Counseling during divorce or separation in Eugene, Oregon with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC. For the adult going through it and for helping children through it. No court work.", "url": "https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/divorce-support", "about": "Separation", "provider": { "@type": "MedicalBusiness", "name": "Ubuntu Counseling", "telephone": "+1-458-215-1465" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "Oregon" }, "inLanguage": "en-US" } --- [![Ubuntu Counseling butterfly logo](/__l5e/assets-v1/01187caf-6a1d-4921-b206-5538892f6bb3/ubuntu-counseling-logo.png)Ubuntu Counseling Heather Swaney, MA, LPC ](/) - [About](/about) - Services - [Autism](/services/autism) - [ADHD](/services/adhd) - [Trauma and PTSD](/services/trauma-and-ptsd) - [Anxiety](/services/anxiety) - [Grief and Loss](/services/grief-and-loss) - [Life Transitions](/services/life-transitions) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) - [Consultation and Letters](/services/consultation-and-letters) - [Reunification and Co-Parenting](/services/reunification-and-co-parenting) - [Foster Parent Support](/services/foster-parent-support) - [All services](/services) - Who I Help - [Children and Teens](/who-i-help/children-and-teens) - [Young Adults](/who-i-help/young-adults) - [Adults](/who-i-help/adults) - [Seniors](/who-i-help/seniors) - [Couples](/who-i-help/couples) - [Families and Parents](/who-i-help/families-and-parents) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Everyone I see](/who-i-help) - Locations - [Eugene, Oregon](/eugene-therapist) - [Springfield, Oregon](/springfield-therapist) - [Lane County](/lane-county-therapist) - [Telehealth in Oregon](/oregon-telehealth) - [The Office](/office) - [Rates](/rates) - [FAQ](/faq) - [Contact](/contact) [Free 30-minute call](/contact)Menu [About](/about) Services - [Autism](/services/autism) - [ADHD](/services/adhd) - [Trauma and PTSD](/services/trauma-and-ptsd) - [Anxiety](/services/anxiety) - [Grief and Loss](/services/grief-and-loss) - [Life Transitions](/services/life-transitions) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) - [Consultation and Letters](/services/consultation-and-letters) - [Reunification and Co-Parenting](/services/reunification-and-co-parenting) - [Foster Parent Support](/services/foster-parent-support) - [All services](/services) Who I Help - [Children and Teens](/who-i-help/children-and-teens) - [Young Adults](/who-i-help/young-adults) - [Adults](/who-i-help/adults) - [Seniors](/who-i-help/seniors) - [Couples](/who-i-help/couples) - [Families and Parents](/who-i-help/families-and-parents) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Everyone I see](/who-i-help) Locations - [Eugene, Oregon](/eugene-therapist) - [Springfield, Oregon](/springfield-therapist) - [Lane County](/lane-county-therapist) - [Telehealth in Oregon](/oregon-telehealth) - [The Office](/office) [Rates](/rates)[FAQ](/faq)[Contact](/contact) [Call (458) 215-1465](tel:+14582151465) [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) # Therapy During Divorce and Separation Divorce is an administrative process wrapped around a grief nobody scheduled. Most people are managing both on the same Tuesday. ## For the Adult in It Whether you left, were left, or you both slowly arrived here, the ending takes something out of you that the paperwork does not account for. There is the loss of the person, and underneath it the loss of the future you had assumed, the version of the holidays you pictured, the shape of an ordinary week. Feelings during a separation are rarely tidy. Relief and devastation frequently arrive on the same afternoon, and people think that means they are doing it wrong. It does not. We make room for the full set rather than the socially acceptable half. There is also a practical layer that deserves therapy time, not just a lawyer's time: sleeping, eating, getting through a workday, deciding who to tell and how much, handling the friend who wants details and the relative with strong opinions. ## Identity, Money and the Ordinary Week Separation rearranges more than a household. People find themselves renegotiating who they are without the role they have been in for years, sometimes decades. That is disorienting even when the ending was right. Money is usually part of it and usually unspoken. So is housing, so is a suddenly different daily rhythm, so is the strange silence of the nights your child is not with you. Those quiet hours undo people more often than the courtroom does, and they are worth planning for rather than white-knuckling. We also look at the pull to fill it fast: the new relationship, the overwork, the project. Not to forbid any of it, only to make it a choice rather than an escape hatch you did not notice taking. ## Helping Children Through It Children mostly do not need to be protected from the fact of a separation. They need it told honestly, at their age, in language that does not require them to take a position. What harms children is not the divorce itself so much as sustained conflict they can feel and cannot understand. Different ages need different things. Younger children need routine and repetition, and often need to be told more than once that it is not because of them, because they will not believe it the first time. School-age children ask logistical questions that are really emotional questions. Teenagers may go quiet and manage everyone else, which looks like coping and usually is not. I can work with a child directly, or work with you on how to talk with them, or both. Sometimes a family session helps a child hear the same account from both adults at once, which does more than either adult saying it separately. ## When Older Things Come Up Endings tend to pull up earlier endings. People are often surprised to find themselves back in something from childhood, such as an abandonment, a household that went unstable, or a parent who left. That is not a detour from the divorce work. It is usually why one particular part of it is unbearable while the rest is merely hard. If that happens we can work on it here, at whatever pace makes sense, without deciding in advance that this has to become long-term therapy. Some people want six sessions to get through a specific stretch. Some want a year. Both are fine, and you are allowed to say which one you are after. ## What I Do Not Do I do not provide custody evaluations, parenting-capacity assessments, court recommendations, forensic opinions or expert testimony, and I will not write letters advocating for one parent in a legal matter. That role and this one cannot be held by the same person without ruining the therapy. I do not diagnose, test or evaluate, and I do not give legal or financial advice. I will happily be the place where you think out loud before you talk to the people who do. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon, in person in Eugene or by telehealth anywhere in Oregon. Common Threads - Grief that does not follow the legal timeline - Telling children, and telling them again - The nights your child is at the other house - Identity after a long partnership - Anger, relief and both at once - Older losses surfacing in a new one Next Step ## Start With a Free 30-Minute Call A short conversation so I can hear what is going on and we can decide together whether this is the right room for it. [Get in touch](/contact)[(458) 215-1465](tel:+14582151465) Related Reading [ ### Couples and Family The main page for this work, across every age. ](/services/couples-and-family) [ ### Co-Parenting Support For what comes after the ending is settled. ](/services/co-parenting-support) [ ### Parenting Support When behavior changes at home during a hard stretch. ](/services/parenting-support) [ ### Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse When an ending brings older history with it. ](/services/adult-survivors-of-childhood-abuse) ![Ubuntu Counseling butterfly logo](/__l5e/assets-v1/01187caf-6a1d-4921-b206-5538892f6bb3/ubuntu-counseling-logo.png)Ubuntu Counseling Heather Swaney, MA, LPC Office 132 E Broadway Suite 303 Eugene, OR 97401 [(458) 215-1465](tel:+14582151465) In person in Eugene, telehealth anywhere in Oregon. Weekend appointments available. Pages - [About Heather](/about) - [Services](/services) - [Rates and Payment](/rates) - [Who I Help](/who-i-help) - [Eugene, Oregon](/eugene-therapist) - [Springfield, Oregon](/springfield-therapist) - [Lane County, Oregon](/lane-county-therapist) - [Telehealth in Oregon](/oregon-telehealth) - [The Office](/office) - [Frequently Asked Questions](/faq) - [Contact](/contact) - [Privacy Policy](/privacy-policy) - [Terms of Use](/terms) - [Accessibility](/accessibility) Who I Help - [Children and Teens](/who-i-help/children-and-teens) - [Young Adults](/who-i-help/young-adults) - [Adults](/who-i-help/adults) - [Seniors](/who-i-help/seniors) - [Couples](/who-i-help/couples) - [Families and Parents](/who-i-help/families-and-parents) Areas of Focus - [Autism](/services/autism) - [ADHD](/services/adhd) - [Trauma and PTSD](/services/trauma-and-ptsd) - [Anxiety](/services/anxiety) - [Grief and Loss](/services/grief-and-loss) - [Life Transitions](/services/life-transitions) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) - [Consultation and Letters](/services/consultation-and-letters) * * * Using this site or emailing does not create a client relationship. Email and web forms are not secure or monitored channels. Do not send clinical or emergency information. Therapy outcomes vary and are not guaranteed. In crisis, call or text 988, or 911 if there is immediate danger. Lane County Mobile Crisis [541-682-1001](tel:+15416821001). Heather Swaney is licensed as a Professional Counselor in Oregon and works only with people located in Oregon. Heather Swaney, MA, LPC, Oregon LPC license C8649. [Verified on the Oregon Counselors Directory](https://orcounselors.com/provider/heather-swaney-ma-lpc-behavioral-health-therapist). © 2026 Ubuntu Counseling. All rights reserved. Call now / Book now