--- title: "Co-Parenting Support in Eugene, Oregon | Ubuntu Counseling" description: "Co-parenting counseling in Eugene, Oregon with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC. Communication that lowers the temperature across two households. No custody evaluations or court recommendations." lang: en json-ld: | { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Service", "name": "Co-Parenting Support", "description": "Co-parenting counseling in Eugene, Oregon with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC. Communication that lowers the temperature across two households. No custody evaluations or court recommendations.", "url": "https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/co-parenting-support", "about": "Two Households", "provider": { "@type": "MedicalBusiness", "name": "Ubuntu Counseling", "telephone": "+1-458-215-1465" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "Oregon" }, "inLanguage": "en-US" } --- [![Ubuntu Counseling butterfly logo](/__l5e/assets-v1/01187caf-6a1d-4921-b206-5538892f6bb3/ubuntu-counseling-logo.png)Ubuntu Counseling Heather Swaney, MA, LPC ](/) - [About](/about) - Services - [Autism](/services/autism) - [ADHD](/services/adhd) - [Trauma and PTSD](/services/trauma-and-ptsd) - [Anxiety](/services/anxiety) - [Grief and Loss](/services/grief-and-loss) - [Life Transitions](/services/life-transitions) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) - [Consultation and Letters](/services/consultation-and-letters) - [Reunification and Co-Parenting](/services/reunification-and-co-parenting) - [Foster Parent Support](/services/foster-parent-support) - [All services](/services) - Who I Help - [Children and Teens](/who-i-help/children-and-teens) - [Young Adults](/who-i-help/young-adults) - [Adults](/who-i-help/adults) - [Seniors](/who-i-help/seniors) - [Couples](/who-i-help/couples) - [Families and Parents](/who-i-help/families-and-parents) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Everyone I see](/who-i-help) - Locations - [Eugene, Oregon](/eugene-therapist) - [Springfield, Oregon](/springfield-therapist) - [Lane County](/lane-county-therapist) - [Telehealth in Oregon](/oregon-telehealth) - [The Office](/office) - [Rates](/rates) - [FAQ](/faq) - [Contact](/contact) [Free 30-minute call](/contact)Menu [About](/about) Services - [Autism](/services/autism) - [ADHD](/services/adhd) - [Trauma and PTSD](/services/trauma-and-ptsd) - [Anxiety](/services/anxiety) - [Grief and Loss](/services/grief-and-loss) - [Life Transitions](/services/life-transitions) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) - [Consultation and Letters](/services/consultation-and-letters) - [Reunification and Co-Parenting](/services/reunification-and-co-parenting) - [Foster Parent Support](/services/foster-parent-support) - [All services](/services) Who I Help - [Children and Teens](/who-i-help/children-and-teens) - [Young Adults](/who-i-help/young-adults) - [Adults](/who-i-help/adults) - [Seniors](/who-i-help/seniors) - [Couples](/who-i-help/couples) - [Families and Parents](/who-i-help/families-and-parents) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Everyone I see](/who-i-help) Locations - [Eugene, Oregon](/eugene-therapist) - [Springfield, Oregon](/springfield-therapist) - [Lane County](/lane-county-therapist) - [Telehealth in Oregon](/oregon-telehealth) - [The Office](/office) [Rates](/rates)[FAQ](/faq)[Contact](/contact) [Call (458) 215-1465](tel:+14582151465) [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) # Co-Parenting Support Two households, one child. You do not have to like each other for this to work. You have to become predictable to your kid. ## What This Actually Is Co-parenting support is not couples therapy and it is not a place to relitigate the relationship. The relationship, in whatever form it ended, is not the client here. The working partnership between two adults who are both going to be in a child's life is the client. That reframe does most of the early work. It means we are not sorting out who was right. We are sorting out how a handoff happens on a Sunday without a child arriving somewhere already braced. Some parents come in together. Some come alone because the other parent will not participate, and that is workable, since one parent lowering the temperature changes the whole system more than people expect. ## Communication That Lowers the Temperature Most co-parenting conflict is not really about the topic. It is about tone, timing and history. A neutral message about a soccer schedule lands as an accusation because the last four did. So a lot of what we do is unglamorous and concrete: shorter messages, information only, no editorial, no reading the subtext aloud, a twenty-four-hour rule before answering anything that made your chest go tight. We work on which channel to use and when to stop using it. What belongs in a shared calendar rather than a text thread. How to ask a question that can be answered instead of one that has to be defended against. How to respond when the other parent sends the message you have been dreading, in a way you will not regret in three days. None of that requires the other parent to become reasonable. It requires you to be predictable, which is the only half you control. ## Keeping the Child Out of the Middle Children are extraordinarily good at reading two adults and terrible at interpreting what they read. They will fill any silence with a theory, and the theory is usually that it is somehow their doing. So we look at the ordinary places a child gets pulled in without anyone intending it: being asked how the weekend went in a voice that wants a certain answer, carrying messages, hearing one parent's frustration through a wall, being asked to choose loyalty in a hundred small ways that never look like a question. Children also do not need to be shielded from every difficulty. They need it explained honestly, at their age, without either parent being made the villain. We also work on the things that make the actual transition easier: a consistent routine at both ends, a bag that is packed the same way, adults who can manage a two-minute exchange in a doorway without an atmosphere. ## Different Houses, Different Rules Parents often want identical rules across both homes and then get stuck, because that requires an agreement that may not be available. Children handle different rules in different houses reasonably well, the way they handle different rules at school and at grandma's. What they handle badly is unpredictability inside one house, and adults who make them feel bad about the other one. So we prioritize. A short list that genuinely needs to match: bedtime on school nights, medication, how big things are communicated. Then a longer list that can simply be different. That usually reduces the number of fights available to have. Where a parenting plan already exists, we work inside it rather than around it. I am not the person who changes it. ## What I Do Not Do I do not provide custody evaluations, parenting-capacity assessments, court recommendations, forensic opinions or expert testimony, and I will not write a letter taking a side about parenting time. If you need any of that, it requires a provider whose role is evaluation, and it cannot be the same person doing the counseling. That limit is not me being unhelpful. A therapist who is also assessing you is a therapist you cannot be honest with, and honesty is the only reason this room is useful. I also do not diagnose, test or evaluate. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon, in person in Eugene or by telehealth anywhere in Oregon. Common Threads - Handoffs, transitions and packing - Message templates and channel discipline - One parent working on it alone - Reunification after time apart - Introducing new partners at a sane pace - Holidays, school events and the shared calendar Next Step ## Start With a Free 30-Minute Call A short conversation so I can hear what is going on and we can decide together whether this is the right room for it. [Get in touch](/contact)[(458) 215-1465](tel:+14582151465) Related Reading [ ### Couples and Family The main page for this work, across every age. ](/services/couples-and-family) [ ### Divorce and Separation For the adult in the middle of the ending itself. ](/services/divorce-support) [ ### Parenting Support Reading behavior as communication. ](/services/parenting-support) [ ### Families and Parents How family work runs generally. ](/who-i-help/families-and-parents) ![Ubuntu Counseling butterfly logo](/__l5e/assets-v1/01187caf-6a1d-4921-b206-5538892f6bb3/ubuntu-counseling-logo.png)Ubuntu Counseling Heather Swaney, MA, LPC Office 132 E Broadway Suite 303 Eugene, OR 97401 [(458) 215-1465](tel:+14582151465) In person in Eugene, telehealth anywhere in Oregon. Weekend appointments available. Pages - [About Heather](/about) - [Services](/services) - [Rates and Payment](/rates) - [Who I Help](/who-i-help) - [Eugene, Oregon](/eugene-therapist) - [Springfield, Oregon](/springfield-therapist) - [Lane County, Oregon](/lane-county-therapist) - [Telehealth in Oregon](/oregon-telehealth) - [The Office](/office) - [Frequently Asked Questions](/faq) - [Contact](/contact) - [Privacy Policy](/privacy-policy) - [Terms of Use](/terms) - [Accessibility](/accessibility) Who I Help - [Children and Teens](/who-i-help/children-and-teens) - [Young Adults](/who-i-help/young-adults) - [Adults](/who-i-help/adults) - [Seniors](/who-i-help/seniors) - [Couples](/who-i-help/couples) - [Families and Parents](/who-i-help/families-and-parents) Areas of Focus - [Autism](/services/autism) - [ADHD](/services/adhd) - [Trauma and PTSD](/services/trauma-and-ptsd) - [Anxiety](/services/anxiety) - [Grief and Loss](/services/grief-and-loss) - [Life Transitions](/services/life-transitions) - [LGBTQIA+ Affirming](/services/lgbtqia-affirming) - [Couples and Family](/services/couples-and-family) - [Consultation and Letters](/services/consultation-and-letters) * * * Using this site or emailing does not create a client relationship. Email and web forms are not secure or monitored channels. Do not send clinical or emergency information. Therapy outcomes vary and are not guaranteed. In crisis, call or text 988, or 911 if there is immediate danger. Lane County Mobile Crisis [541-682-1001](tel:+15416821001). Heather Swaney is licensed as a Professional Counselor in Oregon and works only with people located in Oregon. Heather Swaney, MA, LPC, Oregon LPC license C8649. [Verified on the Oregon Counselors Directory](https://orcounselors.com/provider/heather-swaney-ma-lpc-behavioral-health-therapist). © 2026 Ubuntu Counseling. All rights reserved. Call now / Book now