--- title: "DBT Skills Therapy in Eugene, Oregon | Ubuntu Counseling" url: https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach/dialectical-behavior-therapy description: "DBT skills taught in individual and family sessions with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC: distress tolerance, emotion regulation and mindfulness. Eugene, Oregon." lang: en --- How I Work: https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach # DBT Skills DBT skills are practical tools for the moments when feelings run bigger and faster than you can manage. I teach them inside individual and family sessions. ## What I Offer, Plainly Dialectical behavior therapy was developed as a full program with several parts running at once. I want to be clear about what I offer: I teach DBT skills within individual therapy and family sessions. I do not run a comprehensive DBT program, a skills group, or between-session phone coaching. If you need that full structure, I will say so and help you think about where to look for it. What I can offer is the skills themselves, taught at a pace that fits you, practiced in the room, and connected to the real situations in your week. For a family, that can be exactly the right size. ## The Idea at the Center: Two Things Can Be True The word dialectical points to holding two things that seem to pull against each other. You are doing the best you can, and you can learn to do things differently. You accept yourself as you are, and you want some things to change. DBT does not ask you to pick one side. That balance matters. Change without acceptance can feel like being told you are broken. Acceptance without change can feel like being told to put up with pain forever. The skills live in the space between. ## Distress Tolerance Distress tolerance skills are for getting through a hard moment without making it worse. They are not about solving the problem right now. They are about surviving the next ten minutes. Examples include changing your body temperature with cold water, intense movement for a short burst, paced breathing, and distraction chosen on purpose rather than by accident. We practice these when you are calm, so they are available when you are not. A skill you have only read about is hard to reach in a crisis. A skill you have rehearsed a dozen times has a chance. ## Emotion Regulation Emotion regulation skills help you understand what a feeling is, what it is telling you, and what makes you more vulnerable to it. Sleep, food, illness, sensory load and loneliness all turn the volume up. Part of this work is noticing those conditions and caring for them. Other skills involve checking whether the size of a feeling fits the facts, and, when it does not, trying an action that is the opposite of what the feeling urges. None of this means feelings are wrong. It means you get more say in what happens next. ## Interpersonal Effectiveness and Mindfulness Interpersonal effectiveness is about asking for what you need, saying no, and keeping relationships and self-respect intact while you do it. We might script a hard conversation, practice it out loud, and talk afterward about what happened. Mindfulness is the thread running through all of it: noticing what is happening right now, inside and around you, without immediately judging it. In DBT, mindfulness is short and practical. It is the pause that makes the other skills possible. My mindfulness-based therapy page (https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach/mindfulness-based-therapy) goes deeper into how I use it. ## DBT Skills for Teens and Parents DBT skills are a natural fit for teens, because adolescence comes with big feelings and fast reactions. With teens I keep the skills concrete, give them names that do not sound like a textbook, and connect them to school, friends and home. Parents often learn the same skills alongside their teen. When a family shares a language, a phrase like let's try a skill first can land as support instead of criticism. Family sessions can also be a place to practice validation, which is one of the most powerful and least obvious skills in the set. Learn more on my children and teens page (https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/who-i-help/children-and-teens) and my couples and family therapy page (https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/couples-and-family). ## Validation, the Quiet Skill Validation means communicating that a feeling makes sense given what someone has lived through, even when you disagree with what they did next. It is not agreement and it is not giving in. It is saying I can see why this is hard, before trying to change anything. Validation works in two directions. Parents learn to validate teens, and teens learn to validate themselves, which is often harder. Self-validation might sound like: of course I am upset, that was a painful thing to hear. When a feeling is acknowledged, it often has less need to shout. We practice validation in the room, out loud, because it is a skill that sounds simple and takes real repetition. ## Questions About This Approach Is this a full DBT program? No. I teach DBT skills within individual and family sessions. I do not run a comprehensive program, a skills group, or between-session phone coaching. Can my teen and I learn the skills together? Yes. Family sessions are a good place for a teen and parent to learn a shared set of skills and practice them with each other. What if I am in crisis between sessions? Call or text 988, or call 911 if you are in immediate danger. In Lane County you can also call Mobile Crisis at 541-682-1001. What DBT Skills Work Includes - Distress tolerance for getting through the hardest minutes - Emotion regulation, including caring for sleep, food and sensory load - Interpersonal effectiveness for asking, refusing and repairing - Short, practical mindfulness - Skills taught within individual and family sessions - No skills group or phone coaching; I will say plainly if you need a full program Next Step ## Start With a Free 30-Minute Call A short conversation so I can hear what is going on and we can decide together whether this is the right room for it. Get in touch: https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/contact (458) 215-1465: +14582151465 Related Reading ### Children and Teens Therapy from age four. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/who-i-help/children-and-teens ### Couples and Family Therapy Working together in the room. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/couples-and-family ### Anxiety Therapy Worry, panic and avoidance. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/anxiety ### Mindfulness-Based Therapy The thread under every skill. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach/mindfulness-based-therapy ## Structured data ```json [ [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "MedicalWebPage", "name": "DBT Skills", "description": "DBT skills taught in individual and family sessions with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC: distress tolerance, emotion regulation and mindfulness. 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