--- title: "ACT Therapy in Eugene, Oregon | Ubuntu Counseling" url: https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy description: "Acceptance and commitment therapy with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC: values, willingness and defusion for grief, transitions and chronic stress in Eugene." lang: en --- How I Work: https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach # Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) ACT asks a different question than most therapy. Not how do I make this feeling go away, but what kind of life do I want to build, with this feeling along for the ride? ## A Different Starting Question Acceptance and commitment therapy, usually said as the word act, grew out of the behavioral tradition, but it turns in an unexpected direction. Instead of trying to reduce painful thoughts and feelings, ACT looks at how much of your life has been spent fighting them, and what that fight has cost. Pain is part of being human. Grief, fear, disappointment and doubt are going to visit. ACT suggests that the struggle against pain often adds a second layer of suffering on top of the first. Loosen the struggle, and there is more room to move. ## Values: What You Want Your Life to Stand For Values sit at the center of ACT. A value is not a goal you finish. It is a direction you keep choosing, like being a present parent, being honest, caring for your body, or making things. Goals are the stepping stones; values are the compass. Some of this work is simply getting clear on what matters to you, under the layers of what you were told should matter. That clarity is yours. I am not going to hand you a set of values. ACT fits the way I work because I don't get to choose what works. You do. ## Willingness Willingness in ACT means being open to having a hard feeling if it comes with doing something you care about. It is not the same as liking the feeling or wanting it. It is more like saying: this is uncomfortable, and I am still going to show up for this conversation, this job interview, this visit to someone who is ill. We practice willingness in small doses. You choose the step. The aim is not bravery on command. It is a little more freedom to act on your values even when anxiety or sadness would rather you stayed put. ## Defusion: Seeing Thoughts as Thoughts Defusion is one of the most distinctive ideas in ACT. When you are fused with a thought, it feels like the truth about you or the world. I am a failure is not experienced as a sentence your mind produced; it is experienced as a fact. Defusion skills help you step back and notice the thought as a thought. That might be as simple as saying I am having the thought that I am a failure, or imagining the thought as a leaf on a stream. The thought does not have to disappear. It just loses some of its grip on the steering wheel. ## ACT With Life Transitions, Grief and Chronic Stress ACT is especially useful when the painful thing cannot be undone. A death, a move, a divorce, retirement, a change in health, an ending you did not choose. There is no trick that makes loss stop hurting, and ACT does not pretend there is. It helps you carry the loss while still reaching toward the parts of life that matter. Chronic stress works similarly. When the pressure comes from caregiving, work or a situation that is not going to change soon, ACT can help you notice where you still have choice, however small, and spend your energy there. You can read more on my grief and loss (https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/grief-and-loss) and life transitions (https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/life-transitions) pages. ## Present Moment and the Observing Self Two other threads run through ACT. One is contact with the present moment, which overlaps with mindfulness (https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach/mindfulness-based-therapy). The other is a sense of a steady observing self, the part of you that notices your experience without being swept away by it. Put together, the six parts of ACT form a kind of flexibility: the ability to stay in contact with what is happening, including the hard parts, and still move toward what you value. That flexibility is the aim, not a pain-free life. ## Committed Action, One Step at a Time The commitment in acceptance and commitment therapy is about action. Once you know what matters to you, the question becomes what one small step in that direction would look like this week. Not a whole new life, just the next step: a phone call, a walk, a conversation, an hour protected for something you care about. Sometimes the step does not happen, and that is information too. We look at what got in the way without turning it into a verdict about you. Then you choose again. Committed action is less like a straight line and more like steering, a constant series of small corrections back toward the direction you picked. ## Questions About This Approach Does acceptance mean giving up? No. In ACT, acceptance means dropping the exhausting fight with your own feelings so you have more energy to act on what you care about. Is ACT a good fit for grief? It can be. ACT does not try to make grief go away. It helps you carry it while still moving toward the people and things that matter to you. Can ACT be combined with other approaches? Yes. I often combine it with mindfulness, CBT or somatic work, and we decide together what fits. What ACT Work Can Include - Clarifying your own values, not borrowed ones - Small, chosen steps toward what matters - Defusion skills for sticky, harsh thoughts - Making room for grief without forcing it to end - Finding choice inside long-running stress - Metaphors and exercises rather than lectures Next Step ## Start With a Free 30-Minute Call A short conversation so I can hear what is going on and we can decide together whether this is the right room for it. Get in touch: https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/contact (458) 215-1465: +14582151465 Related Reading ### Grief and Loss Room for what you have lost. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/grief-and-loss ### Life Transitions Endings, beginnings and the middle. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/life-transitions ### Anxiety Therapy Worry, panic and avoidance. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/services/anxiety ### Seniors Therapy for later life. https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/who-i-help/seniors ## Structured data ```json [ [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "MedicalWebPage", "name": "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)", "description": "Acceptance and commitment therapy with Heather Swaney, MA, LPC: values, willingness and defusion for grief, transitions and chronic stress in Eugene.", "url": "https://ubuntucounselingeugene.com/approach/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy", "about": "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy", "provider": { "@type": "MedicalBusiness", "name": "Ubuntu Counseling", "telephone": "+1-458-215-1465" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "Oregon" }, "inLanguage": "en-US" }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "Does acceptance mean giving up?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "No. In ACT, acceptance means dropping the exhausting fight with your own feelings so you have more energy to act on what you care about." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Is ACT a good fit for grief?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "It can be. 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